love it or leave it

11/27/08 02:27 am - Blowing off some steam :)

To: [of 17 kids and counting]

Subject: The 1800's called.....they want their puffy sleeves back!

Dear jimbob & michelle,

I know you are busy and y'all make yer own clothes. I just thought I would be helpful and let you know that puffy sleeves are out. That shit should be easier to sew now that you know that. LOL.

The Fashion Police.

*click send*
This guy gives out his phone number on his website too!


Dear Jane Velez-Mitchell, [of cnn headline news]

We watch you every day at dinner time at work because no one will give us the remote control in the cafeteria. Is that a wig you are wearing or did you actually get Michael Jackson's stylist from the 80's to do your hair? Shitbitch, that is business up front, party in the back!

P.S. How bad do you want to be Nancy Grace? That is not really something to aspire to! Stop yelling so much and talking about irrelevant things that happened 2 years ago for a half hour. Holy dear baby jesus.

*your e-mail has been sent!*


11/15/08 10:38 am

Dear god,

I see the clouds, and I know you're just dying to rain on those noisy kids at that fucking church carwash, and that stupid lady who woke me up w/ her stupid knocking on my door w/ her stupid jesus pamphlet. Do it! do it!

Love, Beckka.

10/3/08 12:25 pm - preaching to the chior

A couple reasons why Palin is stupid:

A $5000 tax break isn't going to do jack shit for people who can't afford health insurance 'cause the uninsured probably don't make enough money to be taxed that amount to begin with. So....still poor = still no health insurance.

How the fuck does mainstreet Wassilla, Alaska know jack shit about federal income tax relief. FUCKING ALASKANS DON'T PAY FEDERAL INCOME TAX. WE PAY THEM TO LIVE THERE.

How the fuck does McCain know how to win a war? When exactly did we win Viet Nam? And how exactly did he win from prison?

Oh fuck it, while I'm at it, here's a political rant that's been on my mind:

I'm sick of sucking up to stupid ass republicans who are now seeing the light that Bush sucks to try to convince them to vote Obama this time. All I want to say to these people is: WE FUCKING TOLD YOU SO! IT'S YOUR GODDAMN FAULT! IF YOU STUPID FUCKERS KEEP CLINGING TO YOUR STUPID AGENDAS THIS WILL KEEP HAPPENING.

It's not that I'm really against all republican ideals. I kinda agree that we don't need so much government shit and we shouldn't have waste and it's sometimes better to keep more money in people's pockets. We should clean up waste of spending (like rich texas ranchers who develop their land for housing now still being paid not to farm). But there are programs that do good that if funded properly, would attract the right kind of people to make a difference. The reason I can't stand republicans is that they don't seem to understand that some people (such as myself) are bleeding heart liberals because we believe in protecting all people and doing what's best for everyone, including you rich, stupid, ignorant mother fuckers. You know why we don't pray in public schools? It's to protect your stupid right wing asses from the possibility of government controlling your religion and then using YOUR RELIGION to control YOU. If you need to pray in school so damn bad or something, no one's stopping you, or maybe you should go to church. And pro-choice doesn't mean pro-abortion. I just think people should have choice but I also think people should first use birth control to prevent having to make that choice.

Also, I go on this website and there's these idiot republicans and this one woman likes to go on and on that free health care is gonna have some domino effect. Fucking hell no, retard. 1st: hi we can vote down steps toward communism. That is what makes us America. Second, free education obviously, obviously was the first domino to fall. Omg the constitution is COMMIE!

And another thing: Bitch fuck you saying you're middle class. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. You're fucking governor of a state. You have plenty of money. So fuck off. Cunt.

American needs to get over it's stupid fucking pop tart mentality. Stop following the flavor of the goddamn week and get a brain and think.

9/8/08 11:28 pm - As my friend said,

What is wrong w/ his face?

I don't know either but when I see it I crack up! It's like when Bert gets mad at Ernie for fucking up his paperclip collection.

8/29/08 01:44 pm - dear jesus....

I have a friend who lives in New Orleans so can you please hit Texas w/ this one? No one likes Texas.


8/17/08 11:56 am - Dear Jesus....

Please make this stupid tropical storm hit Naples or something so I don't have to deal with this crap during the week that I'm moving or the awfulness that my leg is going to feel in a low pressure system.


P.S. My apologies for calling Hurricane Katrina a "Pussy-Assed Storm" after it hit the keys. You def. showed the error of my ways by wiping out New Orleans.

8/11/08 04:41 pm - most ridiculous thing I've seen in a while

Oh and if ever bored, go on youtube and look up wheel of fortune and price is right. There's a lot of funny ones where people can't solve the most obvious puzzles or bid all wrong.

7/30/08 10:16 pm - ZOMG!!

I am going down to Orlando to turn in the keys to my apartment and end my lease and everything tomorrow. I was just flipping channels and I came across a news broadcast saying deputies responded there today after people reported a weird smell coming from one of the units for about 2 weeks. It was a DECOMPOSING BODY. holy shit. It looked like they had one of the single bedroom units taped off.

I hadn't really been there the past couple weeks. Can't really say I'm sorry.

7/25/08 11:24 am - How to shut off your Brighthouse service:

Brighthouse for Central Florida has one of those god awful automated voice response systems that doesn't give you any press button options. I have this irrational hatred fro talking to non-living objects and also for customer service that includes guessing games. It doesn't understand "shut off service".

So here is the sequence I used to get through to the rather unhelpful and time-wasting real customer service lady:

at the "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your last request" prompt, say:

Shut up!
Fuck You! UGH!

Then of course I couldn't shut off the service w/o the last 4 digits of my ex-roommate's soc. #


(Not to mention I blatantly admitted I wasn't my roommate and yet they were still going to let me pretend to be her if I happened to know her security option. *headdesk*)

This is why I usually call the more corporate regional office listed on the web site!

7/6/08 03:07 am - sunset tan

It's late and I'm flipping channels and this dude on Sunset Tan sells this little girl the Lindsay Lohan: a "cockatail" of tanning bed and spray tan, for $1300.00!!!!!

What kind of asshole pays $1300 to look like a carrot?
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